Sunday, October 16, 2011

Boiling

Today Kai went to a bar camp at the facility where he does gymnastics. Two hours later, back in the car, he said to me, "Someone said something to me that I had never heard before."

"What did he say?" I asked.

"We sat in our circle, and he started crying, and the coach asked what was wrong. He said, "I don't want to sit next to him." And he pointed at me. The coach asked why not, and he said, "My mom told me I'm not allowed to sit next to anyone with black skin."

Kai said the coaches looked "astonished." Yes, that is the word my 8-year-old used. He said they weren't very nice to the kid and it "seemed like they knew that was not an okay thing to say." 

But they did let the kid move away from my son.

WHAT???!!!!

Kai begged me not to go back in. He was embarrassed. I want him to be able to tell me these things, so I told him I was glad he told me, and I wouldn't go in, but that I would have to call and try to resolve this problem. I just can't let that go. 

Of course, their phones are not on, so now I have to wait until tomorrow to call. I am happy for any suggestions when I call. At first, I thought the coaches should not have let the kid move. But then again, if I was Kai, I would not have wanted to sit next to the kid after that. He told me the same thing. He said, "I was relieved when he moved because after he said that, I didn't even want to sit next to him."

I am boiling. And that is an understatement. It is probably good that I can't get a hold of anyone today. I am open to advice on how to handle this...calling first thing tomorrow.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you were shocked to hear this but probably not as shocked as the coach was because he was watching this child struggle with something he knew deep in his young heart was wrong. Please be calm when you call the coach and approach it from a place of a desire to educate. Don't ask that the child be removed but rather how you and your son can educate him so that maybe you, your son and coach can help him to understand that grown ups can be an are wrong at times and that skin color is has nothing to do with the substance of another human being.

My heart is aching for this child and for your son.

Monica Johnson said...

Wow! I unfortunately don't have much advise but am looking forward to reading what others write. I am a white woman married to a black man and have a bi-racial biological child and are adopting a girl from Ethiopia. I am clueless to these sorts of situations and thankfully have my husband to lean on when I get frustrated by ignorant comments. Perhaps you are right in that letting some time pass might curb a bit of your anger but I can't blame you one bit. I hope you find resolve in the situation.